I'll never stop investigating the Two-by-Twos

When I was still a child I started to comb through message boards about the Two-by-Two church.

I started investigating the Two-by-Two church in the early 2000s.

I still remember chatting with my cousin on MSN Messenger. We lived on two different sides of the country but we were equally committed to understanding the sect that tore our family apart. We were like two little Nancy Drews, digging and digging to unbury the truth. We knew it was hiding somewhere.

It wouldn’t be until later, when we were older, wiser, and more honest with ourselves that we’d both realize that the truth was buried deep inside of us. We had already borne witness to the destructive forces of an insular religion, it was imprinted on our very DNA, the telemores in our brain shortening at an accelerated speed.

The children, grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren of the Two-by-Two sect became the evidence of generational trauma, harm passed down from mother to daughter, grandfather to grandson. The cycle continues – even when the Two-by-Two name disappears from the story.

When I was still a child I started to comb through message boards about the Two-by-Two church. There was something deeply wrong with me, I knew that much. But I was starting to see that the same thing was wrong with the people around me. A weird, sexually-driven deviance, or obsession. Nobody said it aloud, but it lurked in the corners and whispered to me late at night.

Little Nancy Drew, around the age I started investigating the Two-by-Twos

I needed to get to the bottom of it.

In 2019, I was 29-years-old, and for the first time, I would publicly call out the Two-by-Two church. In an essay for the Washington Post, I wrote:

”As an adult I would learn that my father’s religion was considered a cult. Outsiders referred to the sect as the “Two-By-Twos,” referencing the itinerant preachers who traveled in twos. Former members spoke out against the rampant sexual and emotional abuse within the church, particularly the abuse of young girls and women.”

After that essay was published my body became overwhelmed with fear and adrenaline. I couldn’t sleep for a few nights. My body would vibrate under the covers, humming with years of suppressed anguish, unanswered questions, and terror.

I was afraid someone I knew would read my article and I would get “in trouble”. I was afraid that I would have to answer for my words.

A few years later a Facebook group popped up. My cousin, Nancy Drew # 1, was always a step ahead of me. She sent me a message to let me know about the group – I immediately joined.

When I started scrolling through the messages of people coming forward and sharing their own experiences of abuse, I had a bit of an out-of-body experience. My body knew. My brain also knew. I’d written about it years earlier – the Two-by-Two church has a long history of systemic abuse. But seeing others realize it too was a completely different story.

I felt validation. Knowing that this was the story I had been trying to tell for years.

I felt anguish. Over the survivors who told their stories. The survivors who would never be able to tell their stories. And the survivors who weren’t ready, or may never be. It was a lot to take in, knowing the sheer magnitude of this structure of abuse – it’s global, far-reaching effects. It is beyond comprehension, really.

And then, I felt ready. I was ready to fight to tell the truth, whatever it took. I was a journalist, and I had the skills and knowledge to tell the story of survivors in a way that honored them and showed the world the real truth.

Over the last 18 months I have worked on multiple stories about the Two-by-Two church, and I am not done investigating.

I am not done telling the stories that need to be heard.

My previous Two-by-Two work

1. Daily Dot: ‘It’s just thick with abuse’: Inside the online reckoning of underground church Two by Twos

2. Washington Post: I narrowly escaped life in a misogynist cult.

3. Chatelaine: How I survived an insular secretive sect

4. Daily Dot: Leader of controversial church resigns